Wow a nice song of important verses :)
There was a little boy Wide cheeky smile Nothing to offer Just one little heart
Wandering in dead air Approaching the backs Of a few somebodies
Exuding with excitement Stretching out his little heart Cupped in his little hands Hoping to share it Only to be hurt Somebodies turned out as zombies
Now with little holes Is his vulnerable little one
The little boy Tears in his eyes He started running Looking for plasters For his little one
Along the way he sees a dazzling shiny diamond Despite fear Amidst desperation He stops and stretches out his little one Sharp edges pricked Despite pain Amidst desperation He stayed faithful to it Until it pierces through Amidst pain Amidst disappointment He lets go Of the wrong light Yet again
Hugging his little one Apologetic and hurt He cried
He does not stop searching He sees a simmer of light That seems to be right Injured one and only Hidden close to his chest
All his might he runs Towards that only light Never stopping in his tracks He continues to run
And he ran To the home Of his little one
That little boy
Is me.
I want this spirit filling thing!
What’s this power of holy spirit pour into your whole body literally can feel physically sensation? That is so strong that can scare you or even make you cry? What’s this thing. I want it I want it.
I dont deserve; hence You deserve.
All of this love, all of this security, all of this peace, all of these wishes i made as a young boy granted…all fills my heart because of You. And by me myself, i wont ever have all of these. But simply because You brought me into this kingdom. A wretched beggar into such riches. That i still dont deserve. But just an ugly small kid simply standing there making noises and creating nonsense, yet still given it all. I dont even understand why and how im loved so much, how im valued so much, how did i do it.
All that i have now, is almost entirely not because i deserve.
And all that i am now, is almost entirely not because i achieve.
But all because you gave them to me.
But all because you carried me on your back to this place i stand now.
It’s getting lesser and lesser of me.
It’s getting more and more of You each chapter.
God i look forward to doing greater things for Your kingdom, that i couldnt do, but can because of Your love and grace.
So much to look forward to.
Can i do it?
There’s so many things i’m not
But with i-dunno-what-i-have
Can i promise myself that
I’ll not give up all these things i stand for one day?
An unexpected encounter.
Today has been tiring, leading new Specialist Cadets, in this ”orientation” of Sergeant Leadership Course 3-day package. Met new people, all older than me, cuz they are from polytechnic, 20-21 years old.
As i introduced myself and organised ice-breakers, standard kinda sit-in-a-circle activities, found out one of them is a devoted Christian. His name is Jarrold, a 5 year old convert, from Church Singapore (Found out that Hope Church sorta partner with his church! Uses same ‘lifegroup’ etc). Actually now thinking…im reaching 2 year old in a months’ time! Whoa 23 months already huh. Anyway, i asked him out for a talk super randomly at night after the whole day of activities. Wanted to know him better and maybe partner him in outreaching to this new group of people i get to know. Other than the experience of leading juniors, this sphere of influence is the reason i fought to become section commander for this 3 day thing.
End up we talked, at some bench on the ground floor.
What happened there in the long talk shocked/surprised/impacted me big time man.
Dont know how the conversation led to this but, he said, ”Army is probably the toughest place in Singapore for spiritual walk. Life outside working or studying is really not much.”
I couldnt agree more.
24/7 and 5 to 6 days every week in camp, facing tough draining training and tasks, facing people you dislike almost every hour, facing backlash and knowing bad-mouthing behind your back but at the same time in your face, CUZ Y0U LIVE WITH THEM, mentally challenging missions and exercises, SPIRITUALLY CHALLENGING TO DO WHAT GOD WILL DO, to stay biblical, getting discouraged here and there everytime you fail. Especially when you are all alone in camp, whereas people outside have their lifegroup members full support and presence to do life together…..etc.
We were talking…actually i intended to tell him my purpose and propose partnership etc, but guess what?
”I feel that you are discouraged. Discouraged many times.”
”Actually just now when we were walking the Spirit prompted me that you need advice.”
I was taken aback by this 2 sentences. Almost literally.
That was the impact.
”You gotta start the change now, i’ve seen many people still okay on the outside, yet inside they are already dying, and then one day, they suddenly disappear from church. This 2 years in army uh….can do big damage. ” ——-I never thought i would ever go to that extent, but i think it might really happen before i know it, if not for him who pointed it out, alarmed me, before the subconscious damage goes further.
And then he spoke so much truth and knowledge and advice, that strike me taught me helped me.
He even suddenly, ”Hey dont mind i pray for you?”
I was simply impressed, ”Okay sure.”
This 21 year old poly guy, is a DL calibre man.
What’s amazing is that, i can see how obvious everything is linked, how God is speaking the same things and confirming and confirming, is this new big big area and phase He is pointing for me to grow in right now. JUST HOW OBVIOUS.
I know God’s working big time in my life. And i know this ”One more big breakthrough, one more GROW A LOT” that i have always wanted and been waiting, is finally here. Shooting me down, humbling me down, loving me, strengthening me, humbling me again, shooting me again, guiding me….
Excited. Thankful.
Thank God, for this new chapter of my life. Towards my goal.
Man of Godly character and substance.
Will i ever be like them?
Actually deep inside i love all these skills a lot. But will i ever have the time and ability to learn all of them? Is it worth my time actually, or is using the time to invest in the kingdom of God more worthy and more ”right”?
I wonder.
7-10Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
“When you are tempted to get discouraged, remind yourself that according to God’s word, your future is getting brighter; you are on your way to a new level of glory. You may think you’ve got a long way to go, but you need to look back at how far you’ve already come. You may not be everything you want to be but at least you can thank God that you’re not what you used to be.” NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER LOSE HOPE!!”
(via pocketwhistle)
